WEEKLY WISDOM - LISTENING

Listening:  the act of mindfully hearing and attempting to comprehend the meaning of words spoken by another person.

“You were born with one mouth and two ears” was often the phrase spoken by our parents letting us know when we were talking too much, or we were not listening. I truly believe that listening is one of the most important leadership qualities so that you can assess what a person is truly feeling and thinking. It will also allow you to gauge the temperature of your team or audience. What’s even more important is the intimate connection you will develop with your spouse or significant other. Listening is all about ensuring that the other person, team, or presenter is being seen, heard, and valued. Listening is a skill that must be developed and exercised to maximize its benefit.

This skill is hard to execute when you as a leader try to multi-task or when you are busy. It is literally impossible to be truly present and listening when so much is happening. My wife has often said to me “You’re not listening”. This is when I am trying to listen to her while at the same time responding to emails, listening to the TV, writing in my journal, or searching the internet. Yes, I know I am doing too much in that moment hence the reason why she repeats that phrase. What about this next example? You are attending a training class, or a conference and a lot of your time is diverted to your phone with answering emails, text messages, or scrolling social media as that seems to be more important than being present, learning, and being engaged in what’s happening right around you. These are just a couple of examples when listening as a leader can be challenging. I am sure you can think of plenty more where you may not be present as a listening leader.

Let’s discuss some appropriate techniques that you can use as a leader that will enhance your listening skills.

1. The very first action is to take some time to hear from the Holy Spirit as He will guide you into all truth and give you the focus to listen well and to respond appropriately.

2. Stop multi-tasking when you are speaking with someone whether it is face to face, virtually, on the phone, or if you are attending a conference or training. It is truly disrespectful to the presenters especially when the conversation or topic is of importance to them. Believe me, they can tell when you are not engaged.

3. Next is to put away any distractions such as your phone, watch, air pods, etc. This shows that you are leaning in and focused on what they are saying during the conversation or presentation.

4. Employ the engagement technique of asking questions or confirming what you have heard. This will allow you to increase your interest in the subject. Asking questions tells the other person or presenters that you respect what they have to say and look for clarity or a deeper understanding. 

5.  Next, if you are in a one on one or small group setting, you can repeat back what you may have heard someone say or summarize the important points.

 6.  Lastly at the end of the conversation, thank them for their valuable insights, engagement and preparation depending on the context of the conversation or presentation.

Below are scriptures that can develop your Listening skill.

• James 1:19: Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. Sound familiar to last week?

• Proverbs 18:13:  If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

• Proverbs 18:2: A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

(ENGAGEMENT)

Exercise Your Power this week 

1.       Look to refocus all your individual conversations this week by eliminating the distractions listed above. Give the individual, team, or presenters the respect deserved.

2.       Become more present in group or team meetings by at least asking one question and commenting on one issue or topic during the meeting.

3.       Have a conversation with your wife or significant other without any distractions and let the entire conversation be about her.