WEEKLY WISDOM - ASSERTIVENESS

Assertiveness: confident and direct in claiming one's rights or putting forward one's views

Assertiveness, a crucial leadership skill, is often underutilized, particularly in times of conflict. I recently attended a conference where an expert speaker shared insights on navigating difficult conversations. One of the key takeaways was the various communication styles that manifest during meetings, be it in a group setting or one-on-one. These styles, including assertiveness, aggressiveness, passive-aggressiveness, submissiveness, and manipulation, each present their own set of challenges and obstacles to achieving goals. However, assertiveness stands out as the most effective and constructive approach.

Learning to be assertive has been a journey of personal growth and continuous practice for me. As someone who naturally gravitates towards collaboration and harmony, I initially found it challenging to navigate conflict. However, my commitment to effective leadership drove me to master the art of assertiveness. The following steps, which were uncomfortable at first, gradually became easier to implement. I share them with you in the hope that they will assist you in honing your assertiveness skills.  

1. Preparation is vital in fostering assertiveness. Before any meeting or engagement, I make it a point to jot down my talking points and the desired outcomes. This thorough preparation not only boosts my confidence but also enhances my effectiveness. Next is communicating situational clarity and determining what we are looking to accomplish. The objectives are stated right up front so that we are all aligned.

2. During the meeting or engagement, I create space to allow others to speak without interruption and have a sincere openness to listen to other perspectives as there may be additional information that may change my initial position.

3. Lastly, ask for clarity from the team or individual to ensure alignment in the position or decision so everything is clear before moving forward.

   
   

These action steps have helped me become a more effective leader and allow me to be assertive in a positive and trusting way. Trust me, your staff and colleagues crave clarity, so don't leave anything ambiguous on the table. I have heard the following statement repeatedly: "Clarity is kindness."

Embracing assertive leadership brings a multitude of benefits. It fosters a positive and open culture, empowers you to manage your emotions effectively, and creates a space for your team or individual to grow from assertive conversations. By leading with assertiveness, you not only create a safe space but also earn the trust of your team or individual. Conversely, adopting aggressive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, or submissive communication styles can undermine your credibility and culture, rendering you ineffective in the long run. The benefits of assertive leadership are numerous and can significantly enhance your leadership effectiveness.

I love what Ephesians 4:25 and 29 states: "25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.  29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear". Being assertive is an amazing gift that you give to those around you!

Exercise Your Power this week-

1.       Identify some conversations where you should be assertive based on the information above. 

2.       Determine who does a great job of having assertive conversations and have a conversation with them about their strategies and techniques.

3.       Take some time to write down your own strategies for having assertive conversations.